“McRib Sandwhich Key Ingredient In Next Gen Gym Mats”

Story by Jack Box.

Like Microsoft and Apple computers before them, McDonalds has long been pushing to get their products directly into the lives of the American high school student population. Though those efforts have made both health activist and parent groups grimace, McDonalds may have found a way it get around the road block. It seems that certain athletic equipment manufacturers have gone to the mat for them.

Companies, such as the Chinese Gong-Dong Feng-Shie Ye-Haw Plastics, have been using ingredients from the infamous McRib sandwhich as a bonding agent in their yoga mats. “We stumbled upon this idea a number of years ago” says GFYP chemist / swimming pool consultant Cheng Leu. “One of our sales associates had a McRib while on a business trip in America. When he came back he would not shake our hands, as, despite several washings and a plane trip back to China, he had a very difficult time getting the residue from the sticky sandwich off his hands. Only my knowledge of chemicals from the pool industry allowed me to come up with a formula to dissolve the stuff”. Mr. Leu at once realized that the McRib would be an excellent bonding agent for the new brand of yoga and exercise mats targeted for American schools.

Meanwhile, here in America, Tony Godbout, CEO of exercise equipment start-up “Ham Slam” also realized the benefits of using the McRib in its mats, and quickly got the thumbs up from McDonalds to use them in the manufacturing of their products. “Unlike the stinky old mats we used to use in gym class when we were kids, these new mats smell good! kids want to get on the mats and wrestle and stuff because now it’s an enjoyable experience!”. Mr. Godbout, a one-time educator, notes “There is a pedagogical benefit to using the sandwich in the manufacturing process. It fits with Gardners Multiple Intelligences theory because you are including more of the senses. The kids love the smell of the gym now, and are much more motivated to work out and get exercise than they used to be”.

McDonalds Corporation, meanwhile, is smiling all the way to the bank. Not only are they collecting royalties from the equipment manufacturers, they are also creating a whole generation of kids who will likely subliminally crave the calorie packed gooey product for years to come.

Original story here.

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