Archive for February, 2015

GOP Senator: Let restaurants ‘opt out’ of handwashing after toilet to ‘reduce regulatory burden’

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2015

 

No…. I didn’t make this up.

Story, with video, is here.

Male Doctors Don’t Know Why More Women Are Opting For Breast Reductions.

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2015

Male doctors are flummoxed!

They don’t know why more women, and in particular more young women, are opting for breast reductions. “Why????” Dr. Hugh G. Siezmore says as he shakes his head.

Homeopathic gay surgeon Mack D. Knife has no problem with the procedure, and has performed many of these operations. “It’s life-changing for some girls, and I see the difference,” Knife says. “One patient, prior to her surgery… She was hunched over, looking down, wearing bulky dull gray sweatshirts. And when she came back after her surgery, she was wearing color. It was amazing!”.

Dr Siezmore notes “Environmental estrogens, called xenoestrogens, are substances that mimic the hormone our bodies naturally produce, which will makes buppies bigger”. These chemicals are often found in pesticides, plastics, meat from animals that have been given steroid hormone drugs to speed up growth. “It’s everywhere, and I find the side effects quite lovely! I mean, if women are going to evolve and change due to environmental pollution, why not help it along in this fashion. Can you ask for anything better?”.

Research professor Dr. Steve Martin thinks the increase in breast size may be due to global warming. “Hey, if it can make birds small [as reported here at Altered News], there is no reason why it can make breasts bigger.”. He adds “And for the first time in my research career, I’m starting to think that a little global warming may not be such a bad thing, especially if this boob thing pans out”.

“Maybe, just maybe, global warming is tits after all”.

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Original story here.