Trump Reveals Pick For VP… Himself! UPDATE.
In a move that surprised no one, Trump has selected himself to be his Vice Presidential pick. In a brief statement to reporters, he explained that he needed someone who is an “attack dog”, someone who would work hard to defend him against others, even those within the party he has hijacks, who were attacking him, and he realized that the only one capable of deflecting truthful criticism about him was himself.
He added that Supreme Court Justice Ginsburg is an old poopy-head.
UPDATE: In a separate statement, Trump campaign adviser Stag “Stumpy” Hughjalarge said the pick made perfect sense. “No one fights harder for Donald J Trump than Donald J Trump” he explained. “This isn’t even all that ground-breaking. Think about this; if Dick Cheney, who was in charge of finding the best Vice Presidential candidate for G W Bush, can choose himself to be G W Bush’s Vice President, then why can’t Trump, who is in charge of finding a candidate for Vice President, choose himself to be Vice President?”. “Plus” he notes “if Trump can run 514 companies and be awesome at it, then just being CEO of two government jobs will be a piece of cake, right?”.
He then added “Gindsburg is a witch”.