Archive for the ‘Consumer Reports’ Category

“McRib Sandwhich Key Ingredient In Next Gen Gym Mats”

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011

Story by Jack Box.

Like Microsoft and Apple computers before them, McDonalds has long been pushing to get their products directly into the lives of the American high school student population. Though those efforts have made both health activist and parent groups grimace, McDonalds may have found a way it get around the road block. It seems that certain athletic equipment manufacturers have gone to the mat for them.

Companies, such as the Chinese Gong-Dong Feng-Shie Ye-Haw Plastics, have been using ingredients from the infamous McRib sandwhich as a bonding agent in their yoga mats. “We stumbled upon this idea a number of years ago” says GFYP chemist / swimming pool consultant Cheng Leu. “One of our sales associates had a McRib while on a business trip in America. When he came back he would not shake our hands, as, despite several washings and a plane trip back to China, he had a very difficult time getting the residue from the sticky sandwich off his hands. Only my knowledge of chemicals from the pool industry allowed me to come up with a formula to dissolve the stuff”. Mr. Leu at once realized that the McRib would be an excellent bonding agent for the new brand of yoga and exercise mats targeted for American schools.

Meanwhile, here in America, Tony Godbout, CEO of exercise equipment start-up “Ham Slam” also realized the benefits of using the McRib in its mats, and quickly got the thumbs up from McDonalds to use them in the manufacturing of their products. “Unlike the stinky old mats we used to use in gym class when we were kids, these new mats smell good! kids want to get on the mats and wrestle and stuff because now it’s an enjoyable experience!”. Mr. Godbout, a one-time educator, notes “There is a pedagogical benefit to using the sandwich in the manufacturing process. It fits with Gardners Multiple Intelligences theory because you are including more of the senses. The kids love the smell of the gym now, and are much more motivated to work out and get exercise than they used to be”.

McDonalds Corporation, meanwhile, is smiling all the way to the bank. Not only are they collecting royalties from the equipment manufacturers, they are also creating a whole generation of kids who will likely subliminally crave the calorie packed gooey product for years to come.

Original story here.

B of A Cancels Overdraft Fees, Re-institutes Debtor Prisons

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

NEW YORK – Bank of America customers will soon be unable to spend more than they have in the accounts linked to their debit cards, and instead may be thrown into debtors prison. It’s a step that may become a common move ahead of new regulations limiting overdraft fees.

Rules set by the Federal Reserve that will ban banks from charging such fees, without first getting permission from the customer, are set to take effect July first.

But Bank of America is going a step further than the regulations require. It will  no longer allow debit card purchases to go through if there isn’t enough money in the account. And if the customer continues to overdraft their checking accounts or fail to pay their credit cards on time, they will be sent to debtor prisons.

Debtor Prisons have been politically unpopular in the United States since 1833, but recently, conservative politicians such as  Sarah Palin and Dick Cheney, and even democratic pundits like Paul Begala and James Carville have recently expressed a certain warmth for the idea. The prisons are reported to be administrated by the Blackwater security firm, the troubled company that hired mercenaries in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.  “We’ve been wanting to move away from the image of the ‘mercenary’ company, and feel this is a perfect opportunity to branch out” said Blackwater founder Eric Prince. When asked about  concerns of civil rights issues related related to Blackwaters past, and the rights of consumers who find themselves in  debt, and  Cheney replied “They can go f**k themselves”.

Some extreme repeat offenders may even find themselves headed to a secret facility rumored to be built along side the terrorist detention center located at Guantanamo Bay.

“I think banks will use this as an opportunity to be creative and differentiate themselves from the weak-kneed Federal regulators in ways that was really hard to do when everybody had a free checking account,” says Robert Meara, a banking analyst with the consultant firm Celent.

Consumers have demonstrated a willingness to pay overdrafts for covering the mortgage and the car payment, said Greg McBride, who follows the banking industry for Now, if they continue to be delinquent on those large ticket items, they may be on a boat to Cuba, “But not if it’s things like covering a latte and a scone.” McBride assured.

Original Story Here.

NOTE: B of A may actually be behind the curve as far as debtor prisons are concerned. More info here.